Battlebots Traditions

  • Sawblaze will fight in the inaugural match of the season, the first fight of the first episode (Win!)
  • Tombstone fights in the main event of the first episode (Used to be a Win, now not sure!)
  • Duck starts off the season 2-0 and somehow misses the playoffs.
  • Minotaur finds itself in a hole early in the year and rallies wildly.
  • Lock Jaw faces serious adversity at some point in the season, unless he doesn’t and coasts into the playoffs where he loses immediately
  • Hydra will record double-digits flips on some poor fool.
  • Gigabyte will go through a stretch where it’s flying around the arena and I swear it’s suffered a kill shot ten different times, but no it’s perfectly fine.
  • Uppercut will win a match in under forty seconds after throwing a robot 80 feet.
  • At some point this season Black Dragon will catch on fire and burn for minutes while continuing to dominate and win the match and all the Brazilians will appear completely unconcerned. Then they will have a massive party when it’s over and I will wonder how the size of their group seems to get bigger every match.
  • Malice will lose a match for the dumbest reason possible, and it will probably be because they land on their size and can’t get down, and somehow they still haven’t fixed the problem yet even though it happens all the time.
  • Kraken will start every match by grabbing and breaking something important on the other robot. Seriously, every time. Does anyone have better starts than Kraken? If Battlebots matches lasted 30 seconds Kraken would be Bite Force.
  • Ribbot will take a huge hit right away in the fight and be skinned alive. (I love that that’s a feature and part of the plan)
  • Witch Doctor will deliver the best and coolest counter-shots we have ever seen.
  • Rotator will be involved in the most exciting match of the season (Valkyrie and Tombstone being the last two). Oh, and he’ll also be really mad at the judges at some point.
  • Something highly embarrassing will happen to Hypershock, poor guy.
  • Tombstone will destroy part of the floor or walls of the arena, or maybe send a piece of bot into the ceiling where it breaks a light or camera. Something crazy like that.
  • I will pick every Mammoth match incorrectly.

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