Who will sit upon the Battlebots Throne?

Region I: Minotaur’s Story

We begin here, in Q1/the North. I like to give the conferences real names, using cardinal directions mirrors the NCAA tournament, which was the largest and most exciting sports tournament prior to Battlebots. Q1 and Q2 isn’t doing it for me. But I also like to designate each with a theme, and then we see how that theme pans out in the results.

Anyhow, looking at this bracket here, it’s all set up for Minotaur, in both good and bad ways. The positive side for them is that I don’t think they have any fears in the first two rounds, AT ALL. I love Fusion and wish the best for them, and they could deliver a couple good shots, but they have 1/100th the durability of the Brazillians and will definitely lose this fight. But heck, I might have more faith in Fusion to push Minotaur than I do in their second round opponents. Switchback and Malice? Haha! With each being 3-1, Switchback lost to Deathroll and Malice lost to Lock-Jaw, Minotaur is much, much better than both of those robots. It shouldn’t be close.

But the other side of the region has serious intrigue! I assume Cobalt will win their dalliance with Monsoon, who is kind of a Cobalt-lite; we’re getting one huge vertical spinner out of this end. And Sawblaze unfortunately got stuck with Blip, who I think is much, much better than a 25 seed. This is crazy! Their losses are to End Game and Huge, who are a combined 7-1 and the 6/7 seeds! Those are not bad losses!

Anyhow, Blip v Sawblaze should be an epic round one battle, and while I think Mr Slash and Burn gets it done anything can happen. Blip is a real wildcard, IMO. Then we have Probably Sawblaze vs Probably Cobalt, and while that can go either way – in the bigger picture these are both extremely dangerous opponents for Minotaur!

Minotaur’s last regular season loss was to Sawblaze to begin last season. I’d say their toughest fight this year was definitely against Cobalt, where they pretty much LOST EVERY EXCHANGE until the end. They could definitely lose to Cobalt, and they have lost to Sawblaze. Umm, I’m not sure who else in the field can realistically beat Minotaur? He seems to have the Witch Doctor/End Game group figured out. He beat Tantrum to start this season. He beat Hydra in their only matchup (several years ago now, but still!). Who else do we have? I dunno, Huge maybe? The point is Minotaur never loses, there have only been two struggles in the past seasons IMO, and yet Minotaur drew them both in his region. Yikes.

If Minotaur is truly King than it doesn’t matter. I’m just saying, it might get easier when he gets out of this region, and can face whatever it left over in the other brackets. That third battle in this area is going to be epic, as it always is. Unless we get Minotaur vs Monsoon somehow.

Contenders:

Minotaur
Sawblaze
Cobalt

Wildcards:
Blip
Monsoon

Nah:
Switchback
Malice
Fusion

Region 2: The Power-Houses

Riptide
End Game
Copperhead
Hypershock

Are somehow all in the same region! If you were ranking robots by vertical spinning power, these are all top ten EASY. Maybe like top six, honestly. Good lord. All this raw weapon voltage and yet only one can possibly make the final four.

Heck you can almost include Rotator in this group as well, another hard-hitting powerhouse, just a different weapon type (horizontal rather than vertical). They’ve beaten verticals before, and gone to the judges with End Game! That doesn’t happen often. However my enthusiasm for Rot has cooled as they struggled with technical issues all year.

Anyhow, there’s further interesting datapoints here with drum spinners versus disk spinners

Drum spinners:
Riptide
Copperhead

(Minotaur also but he’s not in this region)

Disk spinners:
End Game
Hypershock

Does one type have an advantage over the other? I don’t know! Past results are mixed, we’ll find out more here. This could its own article, it does feel like the drum spinners are having a moment. Maybe it’s still more design and driving anyhow. In any case we’re getting more data here, should be interesting. The second round should be Riptide vs Hyper and End Game vs Copper, unless someone spoils the party. Or one of these morons (Hypershock) steps on a banana peel and blows it.

Who are our other options, you ask? Well, Shatter! is going nowhere. But Lucky is at least 3-1 and shouldn’t be completely ignored. And then, there’s, you know.

Ahhh, right. That whole thing.

They’ve struggled this season, obviously, and have had significant technical issues that cost them at least one fight and maybe more. But they have the pedigree! They have the track record! They’ve also never beaten End Game, their first round opponent, I am obliged to mention. But heck, crazier things have happened than the team that won the title last year winning it again. Or at least winning a bunch of playoff games, for the third year in a row.

Contenders:
Riptide
End Game

Wildcards:
Copperhead
Hypershock
Rotator
Tantrum

Nah:
Lucky
Shatter!

Past and Future

The Past: Lock-Jaw, Witch Doctor, Madcatter, Jackpot

(The Distant Past: Bloodsport)

The Future: Huge, Claw Viper

I initially set this up with just Huge/Claw Viper in one category and the first two vertical spinners in the other, then I got greedy and stuffed everyone else in. I probably hurt my cause. Skorpios was briefly in the Future category but they really don’t fit in the framing I am trying to work here.

The point is, we have some very traditional, almost rote designs on one side, the 4WD vertical spinners of Lock-Jaw Witch Doctor Madcatter and Jackpot. LJ and WD are both ancient at this point, the designs haven’t changed in multiple robot generations.

Then, in the lower half of the bracket, we have a glimpse of a potential future. The wonderful, wonderful Huge, and Claw Viper, who has been an incredible story this year and whose success relies on something that should be easily duplicable. Speed! It’s super fast! It also is incredibly controlled in its movements, can turn and stop on a dime, and is pretty durable too. But it’s mostly about the speed.

Anyhow, what’s gonna happen? Will the verts keep on winning? Or are either Huge or Claw Viper going to continue to buck the trend?

There’s a smaller narrative at the top – a very modern version of a very ancient robot design (that be Bloodsport) has to face two straight vertical spinners before they could get Huge or someone more agreeable for their design. Does Bloodsport have any chance to buck the magnitude of recent BB History and figure out a strategy past Lock-Jaw and Probably Witch Doctor?

I mean, I doubt it, but it’ll be fun to root for! Unfortunately LJ and WD are perfectly configured to smother a BS and not let him get his very dangerous weapon up to speed. But still, there’s a reason they play the games, you never know.

I don’t think it’s a good matchup for Skorpios going against Huge, but it’s interesting. That whole side is about the angles and sizes and how each robot can interact with the other. Catter has been thrown in as the Control Group, we’ll see how the weirdos handle it.

Contenders:
Witch Doctor
Huge

Wildcards:
Claw Viper
Lock-Jaw
Madcatter

Nah:
Bloodsport
Skorpios
Jackpot

Control Bots for Everyone

Here are the following bots in this region I would designate as “Control Bots”, in order of quality

Hydra
Quantum
Whiplash
Beta

That’s a lot of very talented bots that don’t depend on a high powered spinning weapon to succeed.

(Yes, Whiplash has a vertical spinner, and it sucks! I don’t know if it worked in even half their fights this year)

This is going to be fun because we’re going to watch a lot of fights between robots with different kinds of strategies. Like, Whiplash versus Beta should be awesome! Totally different kind of battle there. And the winner faces Hydra. Yes, Hydra is explosive, but it’s gravity doing the damage, not Hydra’s cute little arm.

And then there’s Quantum, coming off of a terrifically successful season. Quantum…it seems like they have the potential be the greatest non-spinner robot of all? And also, with those jaws, they could be the true anti-spinner robot, breaking the spinners in their path. But they have to execute. And jeez, I do not like how they match up with the other dangerous robots in their region, starting with Ripperoni. That robot has maybe the biggest robot in the sport, I don’t think Quantum can fit that spinner in its mouth! So, what? What’s going to happen? I have similar apprehensions about when they face Hydra, another robot they CANNOT BITE. What does Quantum do in those cases? Is there a plan b? (I’m not even 100% sure Quantum gets by Ribbot easily, Ribbot has plenty of experience in these spots. And they have two configurations, and hey, they did break Hydra’s flipper last year…they’re making my Wildcard category)

Otherwise, I worry about Black Dragon going up against a giant weapon after what happened with them and Riptide. But Ripperoni is a giant wildcard, they lost to Gruff this year for God’s sake. Super volatile design. I like Hydra almost everywhere, against a robot with no ground game in Deathroll, I like them against Quantum or Ripperoni from the bottom, and I even like them in a rematch with Whiplash, who I continue to claim has been bad this season. But Whiplash did reach 2-2, they’re here, and their history says they can take down Beta (have they won a playoff game in recent history?). I think the fresh, reinvigorated Hydra of 2023 takes revenge on Whiplash for 2020, hopefully in another classic. And then yeah. I like Hydra to emerge from this region. I really, really do.

(Beta? I don’t know what to say about them! They looked awful in win one, incredible in win two, terrible in their only loss, and incredible again in their last victory over Bloodsport. Their schedule wasn’t much, and their hammer-weapon design falls apart against verticals. But I don’t see any verticals in the first two rounds here! Hmmmmm)

Contenders:
Hydra

Wildcards:
Quantum
Ripperoni
Beta
Whiplash
Black Dragon
Ribbot

Nah:
Deathroll

Let me just finish and say – wow – this is a fantastically designed bracket! It’s set up for many interesting rematches but also plenty of new and interesting combos, and it’s just very well balanced, with the variety of the sport well-represented and spread out. Great job Battlebots.