Week 3 Picks: COBALT Returns

Got slammed by the COVID booster shot this week, gonna be a quick preview of the Week 3 fights. Can I pull off another 5-2 or better? Probably not!

Fight 1: Hypershock vs Slammow

It’s like he’s a lawn mower, get it?

Hypershock, or “HyperSuck”, as he is known around my condo…

Hypershock is a pretty common design with 4 wheels, wedges and a vertical spinner, like a faster (and vastly, vastly inferior) Lock Jaw or Witch Doctor. The driver is super popular, but the robot is not, because it generally disappoints.

Slammow is a weird strategic bot with arms, it tries to grab the opponent and flip them. Is capable of a great suplex, I’ll give it that! Somehow it went 2-1 and made the playoffs last year, where it got drilled.

I mean, Jesus, I don’t trust HS at all anymore, but they should win this right? Slammow’s “weapon” and approach seems bush league to me, not capable of high-level wins. Not sure there’s a lot of good spots on HS for it to grip. I think Hypershock gets off to a good start, for a change.

The Pick: Hypershock by Knockout

Fight 2: Valkyrie vs P1


Valkyrie has a vicious undercutting blade, kind of a like a Tombstone variant. Success has been mixed! It’s an all offense approach and can be highly destructive, usually produces a good show. I just checked again and two of their losses last year were to Whiplash, maybe they just need to stop running into that guy.

P1 is a super fast and sleek racecar, might be the fastest bot in the field. I think it has a lifter on top, and tries to slide under the opponent and then flip them over.

Common logic favors Valk here, an experienced bot versus the novice P1 who has probably never won a significant match. And yet…I like the matchup for the underdog. If Valkyrie gets turned over their blade will be up high and won’t be able to touch the short P1 (I think). They need to box rush and keep Valk from getting their blade going, and avoid dying on the first hit. I’ll take the chance!

Upset of the Week: P1 by Judges Decision

Fight 3: Huge vs Riptide

This is Riptide, apparently

Huge is probably the most unique design we’ve seen. They’ve had great regular seasons and bad postseasons, generally speaking. The veteran needs space to get their blade going, once it’s at full speed can be highly destructive.

Riptide is a rookie that has a Eggbeater drum spinner (Minotaur and Copperhead also feature this). I don’t have time to research them further, the Battleblog policy is we don’t pick rookies, unless they’re facing Rusty.

The Pick: Huge by JD

The Undercard Fusion vs Cobalt

Fusion – party in the back, dual vertical spinners in front
One of my first Battlebots loves…

For those who are unfamiliar, Cobalt is an absolute Boss. I mean, this might be the greatest match of all time.

(This also serves as a preview on Duck!, coming in two fights!)

I’m running out of time and energy, the episode is in less than two hours. Fusion is a crazy new idea where they have two different weapons they can toggle between. So far it hasn’t worked against anyone of quality, so I’m betting they lose again. Unless Cobalt’s stupid wedge screws them over, either by breaking or getting caught on the floor, they were pretty much unstoppable.

The Pick: Cobalt by KO

Fight 5: Black Dragon vs Icewave

Black Dragon
Ice Ice Baby

Ugh, I really need to wrap this up, this is my last pick of the night.

Obviously I think A LOT of Black Dragon. This will be a good test for them, IceWave has a very destructive horizontal spinner that is gas powered(?!?). Last time it played a full season it almost went undefeated and was a very high seed in the tournament. The problem: that was in 2018, Season 3, they missed the last two. I actually think the matchup is pretty even and this weapon could give BD problems, but again, IW hasn’t competed in several years now while the Duck was kicking ass and making the Final Four this past March. So…yeah. I think Black Dragon takes care of business. (Oh man, if Black Dragon can catch on fire AGAIN and get near that gas tank…)

The Pick: Black Dragon by KO

Fight 6: Witch Doctor vs Duck!

Hell yeah

Witch Doctor is a classic robot who has had mixed results outside of an unbelievable 2019 (two seasons ago). Great driving and excellent vertical spinner.

Duck! was the first famous robot to zag and focus on durability over anything else. Really fun to watch, the way he moves using his flipper and charges into danger. Basically invincible, this robot uses the Homer Simpsons Boxing Method by absorbing the hits until the opponent cannot deliver the hits anymore, because they are exhausted from wailing on Duck!. They have been a very average robot overall but are popular and have won some big fights.

Duck! does get off to hot starts…alright screw it, upset pick number two. It’s not likely but sometimes you just get a feeling, and Witch Doctor had some bad performances last year. I’m betting that something crazy happens, we’ll see.

Upset Pick of the Week #2: Duck! by JD

Main Event

New School vs Old School

Power vs Driving

Offense vs Strategy

My initial inclination was to take Lock Jaw here, that he could outmaneuver and out-work Copperhead using his speed, wedges and more precise weapon, that he could keep Copperhead’s very dangerous drum spinner at bay and land tactical shots to the sides and back.

But…I dunno, I don’t really like the forks, they’re a relic of a bygone era, methinks. I’m taking Copperhead. It’s a much easier strategy on their side, turn the weapon on and hit him with it. A couple shots and Lock Jaw will be limping around. It’s a toss up for sure, I’ll take the guy that had the 3 seed last year (before a bonkers loss to Mammoth in the tournament). For their part Lock Jaw has been up and down for a couple of years now and has showed a propensity to lose to more powerful weapons.

The Pick: Copperhead by KO

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